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Post by Sissy McCoy on Apr 14, 2009 12:00:52 GMT -6
"Spoil sport." Sissy pouted, grabbing up the remote before snugging up against him. "Was that Gordy Sweet? Nice man. Chronic back pain." She said as she lay the remote on his upper chest and slid her hand under his shirt to lay on his belly. She didn't move it around though, more as if she was looking for skin on skin contact for comfort than anything else.
"You know I'm not going to offer to jump you're bones again, right? I mean, a girl has to have some pride, even a gutter tramp like me." She gave him one last chance to do the dishonorable thing.
"Fine then, let's watch some TV." She said. "You surf, my arm is sore."
They seemed to be unable to settle on any program for long, but chatted about what was going on on-screen rather than anything personal even though some personal things slipped out.
"You went to school in the south for two years? That explains why your accent is fucked up, you've got this southern drawl mixed in with your Brit stuff. Makes it sound fake. "
"All that romance stuff is bullshit, can you change the channel? The only real love is between a mother and child, and even that can get fucked up."
"If you ever go to Krenshaw's pick me up somethin', I'm not allowed to shop there because of my profession."
"I started sixth grade, but didn't finish and that's all the schoolin' I've got."
As the sun rose Rave faded and Sissy would have loved to go to sleep as well, but everytime she shifted she hit something painful that jerked her awake.
She sat up, the sheet falling off but she didn't care, and studied the man on her bed. From his actions she'd say he was more gay that bi and asleep he looked more like sixteen than over twenty.
She traced the tattoo up his arm, it was on his belly too, and curious she followed the lines under the cut off sleeve and found a different kind of line.
Ah...ah that made sense now. Her fingers followed the weal of scar tissue, too straight to be from falling from a tree, too long and even. Since he was on his back she couldn't follow it very far, but it was much worse than the few she had on her back. She could go shirtless and most people wouldn't notice, she had the feeling he couldn't.
She slid from the bed and padded to the bathroom to pee and grab the pipe. The face in the mirror wasn't half as bad this time, some makeup and maybe even presentable...but the shoulder looked like it was an eggplant. She sighed.
When she came back he'd rolled over onto his belly, his leg and arm across the bed as if he'd been looking for her warmth. She was about to get back into bed with him when his butt chirped. Ah, his cell phone.
Curious she eased it out of his pocket and took it to the chair by the window.
"K, got class then work, pizza and beer tonight? D" Said the text.
D...the mysteriously straight Devon who Rave had a yearning for. She glanced over at him, still out like a light, and began to thumb through his photo album.
Smiling Rave, smiling soft brown haired boy, smiling red haired girl, arty stuff...sunsets and buildings...musical instruments...concert snaps...
The girl looked tough around the edges and brittle in the center. The boy looked like a chickenhawks wet dream. All soft eyes and sad mouth. The candid shots told the real tale. Boy sleeping, boy laughing, boy working on something with a furrowed brow.
The pic that she kept coming back to though showed something the others didn't. Soft boy sitting in a window that she recognized as one of the landing windows from the eightplexes over a street. His arm lay, forearm up, on his leg and he held a cigarette in his hand and the look on his face wasn't soft, it was determined and tortured....and obviously something he never expected anyone to see.
"Too soft for you." She murmured to the boy on the bed, thinking of how he'd acted the night before. She closed the application and put the phone on the nightstand on his side before crawling back into bed with her white knight and finally was able to drift off to sleep herself, her head on his back as a pillow and her fingers tracing his scars to sooth her.
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Post by Aiden "Rave" Hamilton on Apr 14, 2009 12:42:18 GMT -6
"Yeah, tha' was Gordy Sweet. Chronic pain yeah, bu' at least 'e gives me a job tha' I can actually do. No' much of a pay bu' its bettah than nothin' at all" He said and let her snuggle up to him and take the remote back from him with an amused chuckle from his side. Her hand sliding under his shirt he wasn't quite prepared for but her warm hand on his skin was more than welcome. It was something he'd really been missing with Devon anyway. A small hand but a hand touching him nonetheless even though it was only to feel safe. Rave just looked at her with amusement when she once again offered by not saying she offered herself to him but he shook his head and grabbed the remote back. "Yeah, lets watch some TV" He said and started to flip through the channels. "Yeah... I 'ated tha' fuckin' place too bu' I couldn't get out earlier since I was under age an' shit.. felt like a bloody mental institution..." "Ah.. well, I can't do much about 'ow my accent sounds, luv. s'pose it's meanta change a bit when I'm no' at 'ome with my brits eh? I can asuah yoah tho, it's not fake" He chuckled somewhat and flipped some channels again and landed on some romantic shit he just quirked an eye at just before a remark came from Sissy about love. " 'ey now... Romance can be real between two people tha's no' mom and child. There's always some kind of spark somewheah tha' makes it special, yoah know? Somethin' tha' makes it have "it". Somethin' yoah can't explain with words but onleh with feelin's." He paused for a moment but flipped the channel as she asked to. "...tis no' only between mom and child things can ge' fucked up... parents in general can fuck up... some of 'em can't even acknowledge their own kids' tallent or dreams cuz they dunn match their own dreams..." Instantly his thoughts crawled back to his father and it was probably heard in his voice even though he'd tried not to make it noticeable but it was hard. A part of him still felt so hurt by his father's betrayal, sometimes he just wanted to sit down in a corner and cry his eyes out until his heart was empty; another only wanted to kill him for what he'd been through by his father's actions. "mh?" He blinked and looked down at Sissy when she spoke of Krenshaw. "oh.. yeah.. suah... can probableh do tha' if yoah say wha' yoa'd like ta 'ave" He said and flipped the channels some more while listening to her talk about her school years. "No? I basicalleh skipped classes all ovah the place.. except fo' art that is. Art, music an' computer classes. Those were my favorites..." ~ยค~ Rave had fought sleep for a good while but in the end he just couldn't keep himself awake any longer and drifted unwillingly off and his breaths evened out as he fell deeper and beyond the land of dreams. He didn't even react to Sissy touching his arm or eight pack while following his tattoos but when she touched the scar on his left shoulder he squirmed a bit and huffed along with furrowing his eyebrows for a moment but as soon as she took her hand away he calmed down again with a slight sigh. He was a quiet sleeper and his breaths were barely hear able but somewhere along the line beyond dreaming, he moved after the warmth beside him had moved and his arm moved out for it even though it wasn't there to be touched. The chirping in his back pocket didn't wake him up either, nor the fishing for the phone by his newly acquainted friend. About five hours after he'd fallen asleep he started to dream again, small whimpers and clenching of both jaws and fists off and on while he was still on his stomach. Rave mumbled something un-hear able and furrowed his eyebrows and started to move and shift around in bed, oblivious to Sissy that used him as a pillow. "no..!" He huffed and turned around, and rolled onto his back, his front to Sissy first that'd make her rest on his stomach if she didn't move away and just went with the motion. "leave me....-lone!" He mumbled and started to move his arms as if defending himself in his sleep. His breathing as well as heart rate picked up as did his anxiety. Rave somewhat started to kick his legs and try to squirm away from what ever the threat is. "ge' off me!" He protested and squirmed even more, unable to wake up from his bad memories that manifested themselves in his dreams.
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Post by Sissy McCoy on Apr 14, 2009 13:06:29 GMT -6
It seemed just as she had found the one way to lay to fall into a deep sleep, she was painfully woken by her bedmate shaking her off.
"ge' off me!"
"Shit! Fucker!" She called out as she landed on the bad shoulder when he pushed her off and rolled away from her. "Asshole!" She kicked him away before waking up more fully herself to keep him away from her than in real anger, unsure of who or what was attacking her. She scrambled to the very edge of the bed, naked and panting, pressed up against the headboard half way expecting to see Jose and his sidekick standing over her.
It was Rave, still asleep, caught up in some bad dream in which he wasn't winning the fight. From what she felt of his back he hadn't one a lot of fights.
She pushed her hair out of her face and looked around the room for a clue about what to do as he tried to protect his face from invisible hands.
"Hey," She said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "Hey..." She crept closer and caught his hands in her own small ones. "Hey, it's OK." She half lay on him, so he wouldn't kick her again, his clothes rough and scratchy against her already abraded skin. "It's OK, you're OK."
He twisted his head back and forth in some sort of denial. "Shush, shush, shush..." She whispered. It was killing her to hold his right hand with her left, the pull on her shoulder made tears spring to her eyes from the pain. "You're hurting me, you need to stop kicking around, K? You're hurting me."
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Post by Aiden "Rave" Hamilton on Apr 14, 2009 13:28:13 GMT -6
He kept fighting, kept squirming to fight his haunting dreams that was very much real in his mind right now. He slid down from the pillow and along with it, his shirt slid up half way to reveal more of the tattoo and his stomach while he fought the invisible hands that attacked him.
When she touched his shoulder he squirmed away but soon someone was holding his hands instead. At first he was trying to get free from that too but somewhere in the back of his mind he heard a hushing that tried to calm him down.
Was it a trick? It had to be a trick to make him do as he was told! He whimpered and squirmed a bit more then the hushing was back. Rave tried to open his eyes but didn't quite make it at first but the voice kept at it and he soon calmed down a bit even though his heart rate and breathing was still quite fast and shallow.
Suddenly he turned and hit his cheek in the pillow and woke up due to the pain throbbing all over his face along with a slight yelp and a scream before his left hand broke free from her good hand and grabbed his face while he rolled over to the side, towards her. His right hand was still resting in her left hand but had gone limp by now.
Rave swallowed and tried to grasp where he was while looking around with his good eye. He didn't quite recognize this place, where was he?
Storm blue eyes found a naked knee then a leg and soon traveled over a female form but before he got too high he closed his good eye and focused on trying to control his breathings instead. Sissy, the girl's name was Sissy -- or at least she claimed it was.
"...-'m Sorreh... didn't mean'ta fall asleep..."
He mumbled quietly and crawled up somewhat in a fetal position with her knees by his stomach and her hand still holding his unless she'd moved her hands away.
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Post by Sissy McCoy on Apr 14, 2009 14:11:03 GMT -6
She brushed away the tears from her face with her free hand and laid out next to him, not caring enough to cover up.
"So, what's that all about, huh?" She asked. "I thought for a moment Jose was back to kill us both." She said and tapped his chin up with her free hand. "Get those a lot, do you?" She asked. "Seems like you're a bit too comfy wakin' up in a state of panic."
"I get them too sometimes." She offered. "But not much, and not when I'm with someone. Usually when I'm alone and there's no one to wake up to."
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Post by Aiden "Rave" Hamilton on Apr 14, 2009 14:21:15 GMT -6
Rave didn't reply but looked down the sheets when she asked him what it was all about with the nightmares. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell her or not, after all they just met and he wasn't sure he could trust her.
"If 'e was 'ere... 'ed 'ave ta crawl in an' even then... 'ed be too slow no' ta ge' beaten down and killed befo' 'e touches yoah."
He said quietly before slowly rising to sit up with his back to her. It didn't take long before he pulled his shirt down to cover his back but if she'd been looking at him she'd probably seen the scars as well as the big scar she'd traced at his shoulder leaped all the way down from his right shoulder to his right hip and just below the belt.
Rave inhaled deeply and let the air out slowly while he placed his left leg on the bed, bent to the side and his right foot in front of his left foot's ankle, knee up. He rested his right elbow on his knee and ran that hand through his hair once, making his somewhat messed up curls down to as straight as they could get again.
"...I ge' 'em about evereh night.. or mornin'... dependin' on when I go to sleep"
He finally replied and nodded quietly to the waking up alone.
"They're even worse if I.... Devon's usually around ta 'elp me wake up..."
He mumbled and lowered his head and looked down at his left hand that rested, palm up on his left thigh. His right arm dropped and ended up cradling his leg while he worked on suppressing the bad memories from his mind again.
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Post by Sissy McCoy on Apr 14, 2009 14:49:47 GMT -6
Sissy sat there and thought about what he said.
Well, go figure. No wonder he was intrested in her scars. It felt good when he traced them so reverntly. She knelt behind him and drew his shirt up and kissed his back, starting at the bottom and working her way up as the shirt revealed more.
When she got to the top she wrapped her arms around him and held him close, her bare skin against his scarred flesh. "No wonder you need him, if he keeps the monsters away." She murmmered into the bunched up fabric at his shoulder, her fingers tracing up and down his belly as she curved around him. "He's your candy."
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Post by Aiden "Rave" Hamilton on Apr 14, 2009 15:05:43 GMT -6
Rave was just concentrating on calming down when he felt Sissy move on the bed. As soon as she started to pull his shirt up he tensed up and straightened his back.
"Please I-..."
He held his breath and closed his eyes and took his hands from the shirt he realized he'd tried to pull back down. What he wanted to do was to get off the bed and hide his back but.. she'd shown her scars to him so, it was just fair she looked at his, wasn't it?
Rave clenched his jaws and kept his eyes closed. The left hand grabbed the covers of the bed and clenched the fabric just as he felt soft lips on his back. He gasped quietly and furrowed his eyebrows, lowering his head a bit as he did but let her continue.
Her arms around him were warm and supportive even though he was still tense. He'd never shown anyone his scars willingly except for Devon that night he'd asked how he got the scar tissue on his back. Something he'd asked after one of their "nights of need" but since they'd known each other for almost a year by then, Rave'd told him and he'd wanted to see so he'd let him.
Rave nodded quietly.
"Yeah... s'pose 'e is."
He paused a moment while his hands slowly came up to wrap around her arms softly.
"...The nightmares almost disappeared at the institue... I wanna say thanks to 'im bu' if yoah ask the school, they'd say it was the meds they gave us... pahted from 'im fo' about 2 months... they came back almost at once... Nevah realleh trusted anyone in my life... 'til 'e came along an' just... pu' up with my ways an' just didn't care of wha' I said or did.. 'e was always there when I needed 'im.. just like now.. we met up a few months ago, 'e called me, I came."
Rave smiled somewhat bitterly, realizing what Sissy really said. Devon indeed was his candy, he was addicted to feeling the way Devon made him feel and since he was the only person he'd really trusted he kept holding onto him for dear life and if he'd lose him, Rave'd most probably loose himself since Devon was the only kind of safety he knew existed in a very dark and cold world.
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Post by Sissy McCoy on Apr 14, 2009 15:19:48 GMT -6
She nodded as she listened, pressed against him.
She didn't really have anything to say, but liked the feel of him against her. The rough patches of his scars echoed the rough patches of her own heart, though she'd never think of it so romantically.
"They comfort me." She said finally, kissing the big ugly slash that bothered him the most. "They make me feel better." She rubbed her cheek against his back, the movement echoed by the rest of her body that was pressed against him. She leaned back and pulled on his shirt, wanting him to remove it so she could see him in the morning light without it bunched between them.
"I know that people would turn away from me if my scars were as visible, but, sometimes I wish they were...just to say...this is the real me. The real me." She said quietly as her fingers traced over the grooves and lines.
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Post by Aiden "Rave" Hamilton on Apr 14, 2009 15:29:48 GMT -6
Just to feel someone so close to his scars, to actually touch them with a loving hand and with care. It made them tender and made some of the damaged nerves tingle by the soft touches, quite the new experience for him. Devon didn't touch him this way he'd never touched him this way and especially not his back.
"... I 'ate them. They remind me of things in my past tha' I couldn't stop because I was too weak an' people around me chose to turn the otha cheek and pretend it didn't 'appen."
He said quietly. When she kissed the largest scar, he straightened his back a little again and made a slight mine. That scar wasn't as comfortable as the other ones since it ran a lot deeper. The largest nerve damage was around that area.
"They make me feel like I can't escape wha' I wanta fo'get."
He replied and relaxed again and slumped his back a bit when she rubbed her cheek against his back. When she pulled at his shirt he hesitated at first but then caved and took his shirt off slowly and kept it in his hands once it was off.
"People always turn away from me no mattah wha' I do. I just keep waitin' fo' the day I end up alone with noweah to go bu' down one way or anotha... This isn't wha' I wanta be.. this is wha' I was forced to become."
Rave once again closed his eyes when he felt her hands tracing his scars but this time he let her as well as he allowed himself to feel every soft stroke over his damaged skin.
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Post by Sissy McCoy on Apr 14, 2009 15:44:00 GMT -6
"Silly boy." She said, curling her body around his now so that her upper torso was in his lap while her legs where curled around behind him. She looked up at him earnestly. "No wonder you have so many bad dreams, you fight them too hard. Everythin' that's happened to you is a part of you, and you can't forget. It's like when they cut off someone's leg, and they still feel the pain and itch from when it was there."
She reached up and touched his face, tracing the outlines of his lips. "Who do you think you'd be if these things hadn't happened to you? I bet you despise the kind of people you'd would of been. Middle class maybe? Day job. Wife, kiddies...a morgue." She said the word with a widening of the eyes as if it was a foul deed done only in the darkest corners of hell.
"You'd never talk to a girl like me, let alone come into a alley to save her. You'd think I'd deserved it and kept walking, like good and proper people do." Her hand dropped to the tail of the scar and fingered it. "But because of this, you where here to save me." She smiled then shook herself.
"To much heavy thought," She said as she made to get up. "I need to get stoned."
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Post by Aiden "Rave" Hamilton on Apr 14, 2009 15:58:32 GMT -6
"nh... nevah thought of it like tha'..."
He mumbled and looked down at her when she crawled around him, still in the nude which reminded him he'd had her bare breasts against his back only moments ago, that thought made him uncomfortably aware of the fact he still had a semi hard on and it hadn't really gone down since he got it.
"If I dunn fight them...wha' am I? I didn't dise've wha' I go'... none of it. He..."
Rave closed his eyes and clenched his jaws, stopping himself in his tracks of what he was about to say. This girl just wanted to make him say everything, tell everything to her of what he'd been through while a part of him just walk away.
"... tch..."
He looked away.
"middleclass wouldn't quite do it..."
He muttered and almost shivered at the thought that he'd be one of the upper class snobs. He'd hate himself even more if he'd ended up like them, hell no that was even farther away from what he was than who he'd formed during the years and the very person sitting on this very bed.
"No one dise'ves a beatin' except fo' one person and one person alone..."
He said but avoided eye contact as his eyes grew hard at the thought of his father but it didn't last long, when she touched his scar, he looked down on her hand while she said he'd saved her.
"sometimes they ache... the scars.."
He said quietly. Rave moved his hand up to hers and softly moved it to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
"no... please.. no drugs, no' now."
He sad softly and instead He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips and let his left hand trace her cheek and side of her neck until it rested just below her hairline in the back. He let his forehead rest against hers and closed his eyes for a moment.
"...I don't pay... no' fo' things like this."
He whispered and looked into her eyes, asking her to do them both a favor by saying yes to what he asked.
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Post by Sissy McCoy on Apr 15, 2009 10:28:29 GMT -6
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